There is the bad....

My last employer has banned me from her establishment. Why, I wonder? It seems that all I do is "Talk S&*T and steal her customers". Well, I never talked smack about the place and as for "stealing customers" I suppose I can see how she feels that way since some of my regular customers have started coming over to my new bar about one night a week to see me.

However, reality shows that they still go to the other bar 90% of the time. Going to another bar one night a week is their choice, not something that I could force to happen.

It does hurt my feelings a bit. I worked for this woman for two and half years. Being treated and spoken to in such a manner really does upset me, but I have come to the conclusion that I just need to let it go. Yes, I worked there a long time (although two and half years is not really a long time, in the bar world it is a lifetime) and yes, I was a good worker for her, but the drama is not doing me any good.

Other bad news: The man's ex-wife filed for modification of child support. Which in of itself is not a bad thing. Child Support is an important thing which I understand. What I do not understand is why when she filed for modification she did not submit his mailing address through her State.

The Child Support Order originated in one state; the state where they both lived during their divorce. Since then, both have moved to different states. He has paid the his child support through the original state every month directly from his paycheck. It is set up to where the money comes out before he is even paid.

Well, when the modification process was started from her state to the state we currently live, since they (the state) did not have his mailing address, he was not notified. The current state got a statement from the original state that he has paid through the month of March, which is the month when the current state requested the statement. Since he did not know to pay through the current state, they have been tracking him since April as not paying child support.

Fast forward to two weeks ago when he finally got served papers at his place of employment (they finally found him) and he goes to see the Child Support Enforcement people and consequently a judge. Not only has his month child support gone up $215 a month (Now paying $1,400 a month for ONE child) the current state is going to garnish his wages for his "Owed" child support from April until August. Even though he has paid and has PROOF that he has paid, everyone says there is nothing they can do because it is "in the system".

It is absolutely ridiculous! Being on both sides of the Child Support Spectrum (as in, being with the man who is legally responsible for paying child support and being a parent who is legally entitled to child support) I see nothing but problems with this system.

Here is a man who has always paid. A father who calls his son everyday. A father who, although half a country away from his son, utilizes every block of visitation he has with his son EVERY YEAR. Even if it is for two days, he will pay to fly his son out here for visitation. A man who very much wants a relationship with his son and who wants to care for his son.

Then there is my ex-husband. He went 3 and half years without paying child support. Now he pays half of what he is legally required to pay each month. He has gone years without seeing his children (which was his choice). He goes months without calling his children or answering their phone calls. Oh, and if something comes up in his life financially, he just either skips a child support payment or pays late. Because somehow, if his car breaks down or whatnot, it becomes MY and his CHILDREN's problem to come up with the money that he is supposed to have sent.

I have gone to Child Support Enforcement and PAID THEM MONEY to enforce the child support order to no avail.

So, the father that tries to do right gets slammed up the rear and the father that really doesn't give a poop just skates on by. How in the hell is this even possible!?!

I know life isn't fair, but really, this goes beyond that. It is just wrong.

So, in the next few months, not only will we be losing an additional $215 in income towards the larger child support payment, we will also be losing $1200 a month in back child support that isn't even rightfully owed!

Of course, the ex-wife knew that this could happen if she didn't submit the address when she filed for modification.

What makes it even more laughable is that she makes only $200 a month less than he does, but they are using the percentile rates for support from the date of the divorce, when she made far less. So, if his income goes up he pays more but if her income goes up it doesn't matter - again, how in the hell is this even POSSIBLE?